How To Stop A Woman On The Street

Successfully starting up a conversation with a woman in a bar can be challenging, but stopping a woman on the street and getting her to give you the (proverbial) time of day takes a special kind of skill set. If a woman is at a bar, club, party, or any social event, for that matter, she will usually be quite open to making small talk with guys. When a woman is on the street she is usually on her way somewhere. She is not likely to be in a social state of mind, and may even be on the defensive. This is especially true in urban areas where the streets are crowded with people.

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Bring Your “A” Game

Needless to say, the odds are stacked against you in this scenario. Unless you make a flawless approach and come across as likeable and trustworthy in the first two seconds of the conversation, you will more than likely be ignored (or worse).

An Observation

I lived in Brooklyn for a year, and during that time I commuted to Manhattan every day to attend class. On any given day there was construction going on somewhere on my route, and I would inevitably hear a construction worker whistle like a dog at an attractive woman an utter something along the lines of “Hey, sweetheart, what’s the hurry, come see me baby”.

My guess is that I witnessed a scenario like this at least 100 times that year and the result was always the same. The woman kept walking as if she was a deaf mute.

The point of my short anecdote is that the Neanderthal approach is a waste of time. It will only produce failure, so you are going to have to come up with something a bit more refined. Every encounter is unique, so there are no hard and set rules to picking up women on the street, but the following tips are a good place to start.

A Plausible In

In a bar you could sit down next to a woman and chat with her for no reason, but if you stop a woman on the street you should have a reason, even if it is only an icebreaker. If you start with a come on, the woman’s natural reaction will be to blow you off. Your goal is to start a conversation, and keep it going long enough to make a good impression and get her phone number. You can ask for directions, the time, or even whether she thinks your shirt and tie look good together.

The reason you stop her is less important than the way you do it. You want to be polite, but confident; friendly, but not invasive. This may sound difficult, but in reality it is actually very difficult. If you come off as nervous, rude, overly aggressive, insensitive, intrusive, or oblivious, the conversation will be a short one.

The Golden Rule

The trick here is to imagine the girl you are stopping is someone you have met before, but do not know well. Be friendly, but do not assume too much familiarity. Smile and make eye contact, but do not cross the line and touch her. Keep the conversation light so you do not scare her off, but make it clear you are enjoying talking with her. This is quite a balancing act to pull off, but with a little practice you should see your success rate drastically improve.

How to Get a Girlfriend

Getting a girlfriend, as many of us guys have learned, is often harder than it seems. Yes, women want to have boyfriends as much as we want girlfriends, but convincing a girl that you are the right guy for her comes with a few challenges. Ticking all of the required boxes demands a degree of understanding. There are some key psychological differences between guys and girls, and ignorance of these differences is often what sinks a guy’s ship when he is courting a girl he likes.

Guys are pretty easy to please. We want a cute girl who is fun to hang around with and who does not drive us crazy. These are fairly easy boxes to tick. Women, on the other hand, look for a guy who makes them feel a certain way about themselves. This is clearly a bit more complicated.

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Focus on Her

A lot of guys try to impress women with their money, accomplishments and good looks. While these qualities are not completely irrelevant, they are not the kind of qualities that cause a woman to fall for a guy on an emotional level. Charm, kindness and sense of humor are more important, but these are still secondary to how you make a woman feel about herself. Women want to be acknowledged, appreciated and adored. They want to be seen as the beautiful, sensitive individuals they are, and they want us to respect and love them for it. Women not only want men to find them attractive, they want men to admire them and make them feel special.

Rather than trying to impress a girl with your own attributes, impress her by acknowledging her attributes and how unique, special and wonderful they make her. This gives a girl that tingly feeling inside, which is exactly what you want if you are trying to make her your girlfriend.

A Lighthearted Approach

It may be a cliché, but women really do love guys who can make them laugh. You do not have to be a standup comedian to get a girlfriend, but being funny and witty certainly helps. A good sense of humor also shows that you do not take yourself too seriously, and that you would be fun to spend time with. When you are courting a girl, a lighthearted approach offers the best chance of success. Your early conversations should be fun and free-flowing, so resist the urge to ask her a series of banal questions, as this will feel more like a job interview than a date.

Put Yourself Out There

One way to improve your chances of getting a girlfriend is to spend more time around single girls. This may sound obvious, but a lot of guys sit home by themselves wondering why they are single. It is hard to win a game that you are not really playing, so get out there and meet more girls. Attend more social events, join a club or two, and take a cooking class…and do anything that will give you a better chance to meet that special person.

How to Get a Girl to Like You

Trying to win the affections of a woman is both exhilarating and challenging. As guys, we never really know what a girl is looking for, so we make our best effort to win her over and hope things go our way. While every situation is different, there are some strategies that seem to be, at least to some degree, universally effective. That being said, getting a girl to like you is as much of an art as it is a science. You have to use your intuition, pay attention to her body language and go with the moment. There is no perfect recipe for winning a girl’s heart, so the following suggestions are just guidelines that will increase your chances of success.

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Be Yourself

There is no guarantee that a girl will like you for who you are. There is, however, a guarantee that she will not like you if you pretend to be something you are not. For one, it is impossible to keep up such an act forever. Secondly, women are quite good at picking up on disingenuous behavior. The best way to go is to play the hand you have, win or lose. Yes, you may lose a few, but when you win it will be for the right reasons.

Think Out of the Box

There is nothing wrong with giving a girl flowers or taking her out for dinner and a movie. However, a more unique approach will often pay greater dividends. Try giving a girl something only you can give her. If you draw well, make a sketch of her and surprise her with it. Anyone can go buy roses, but only you can make a bouquet of the wild-flowers that grow in your yard. These are small gestures, but they can make a very big difference in how she sees you.

Easy on the Flattery

Women love to be complimented, but there is such a thing as overdoing it. If you are constantly offering compliments, each one will mean less, an eventually they will hold little if any meaning at all. Plus, flattery often comes off as disingenuous and manipulative. The occasional compliment will win you points, but make sure you mean it and that it was earned. Otherwise you are no better than the creepy guy at the bar who tells every woman who comes in how beautiful she is. It does not work for him, and it will not work for you.

Have Fun

The best way to get a girl to like you is to make sure the two of you have fun when you are together. Make her laugh, be spontaneous, and do not take yourself too seriously. Think of fun things you can do together and do your best to keep things interesting. You do not have to take her to the best restaurants or buy her expensive gifts to get her to like you. Just show her a good time and treat her with kindness, adoration and respect.

Planning the Perfect First Date

She agreed to go out with you, so the hardest part is behind you. Now you just have to plan a first date that will sweep her off her feet. You want to get this right, so keep the following points in mind while you are deciding on the details.

Conversation is King

Choose a venue for your first date that will allow the two of you to converse openly. Yes, going to a movie or concert might be great fun, but you may not have the opportunity to really connect. This is especially important if your date is someone new in your life. You want to have the chance to share some details with each other and see if there is any romantic chemistry between you. This is much more difficult if you are someplace where you cannot have a conversation. If you do choose a venue like this, make sure to pair the activity with dinner or another activity that allows for some interaction.

couple on a date

Plan Ahead

Make sure the details of your date are ironed out ahead of time so things go smoothly on the big night. If you plan to take her to dinner, make sure the restaurant you choose serves food that she likes. Find out about any dietary restrictions that you have to plan around. In addition, make sure you are clear about transportation. Are you picking her up, or will the two of you drive separately and meet? Do you need to have some cash for valet parking?

Choose a venue that allows for some intimacy, but not too much. A nice “Mom and Pap” place is a better choice than an expensive fine dining restaurant. Go out rather than inviting her over for dinner, as she will likely feel more comfortable in a public venue until she gets to know you better.

Dress for Success

Wear something nice for your date, but avoid going too dressy or overdoing it with the cologne. You want to feel comfortable while at the same time looking your best, so pick an outfit that is appropriate. Do not dress down too much, as this may communicate laziness or a lack of interest.

Listening Skills

Ask your date questions about herself, and make sure you are listening attentively while she answers. Try to get an interesting, back-and-forth dialogue going rather than having one of you doing all the talking. Look for areas of common interest and use them as conversation starters. Ask questions that express a genuine interest in what she thinks and feels, and interject when you find points of agreement.

Flirting

A bit of healthy flirting can make all the difference on a first date. If you do not flirt at all, she will think you are not interested, but if you flirt too much, she will think you are only interested in a conquest. Be playful, cute, and complimentary with your flirting, and follow her lead to